How to cure the epidemic of learned helplessness? This is what I have decided to chat about today with my good friend Rachel. I'm currently working towards the launch of a new and exciting leadership programme and also working with lots of businesses helping them solve their management and leadership issues. I get to see a *lot* of learned helplessness in these workplaces. Essentially the teams have been 'trained', albeit inadvertently, by their leaders to do exactly the opposite of what the managers say they want their staff to be! They have learned to always ask the boss first, they have learned that taking a risk, even a considered one, is not worth it without first running it past the boss. They have learned to stick to what they know is safe and not risk the potential of the boss's disapproval. Yet, to a one, each of the 'bosses' talk of wanting a team that is proactively using their individual creativity, their intelligence and their greater knowledge of the 'front-line' for the good of the business. These bosses talk about wanting to create an 'empowered' culture. So how on earth does this gap develop? We're going to chat about it *and* we're going to talk about how it is possible to cure this helplessness epidemic...
Today's Genuine Chat we're going to be discussing what many might think of as a difficult topic; Dealing with Abuse. In recent months I have had a concentration of clients who have suffered varying degrees of abuse in their lives. I spend a lot of time working with them gently and consistently to move them into a space where they feel better able to resolve the issues created by the abusive behaviour and in the aftermath of it. My aim is to create a capability in their hearts and minds where they can feel forgiveness. This is often a provocative word though - one might think that forgiving what is unforgivable behaviour is a strange thing for me to encourage abuse survivors to seek! So let me explain what I mean...
Welcome to this occasional series of dialogues between Gina Gardiner and Deborah Thorne, The Information Diva
Jane is in her first leadership role. She thought she would love it; it is what she has worked so hard for – this promotion was meant to be her greatest achievement. But the day to day reality of leading her team isn’t feeling like that. In fact, Jane is beginning to wonder how she can reconcile what she feels is important in life with how her employer expects her to behave. Jane is beginning to think that she has to choose between sacrificing herself and keeping the job or losing it. How did it get like this? Does it always have to feel like this?
Good morning! Today's Genuine Chat with Gina (me!) considers the question "Is Silence Golden?" I'm curious to chat through when it can be a good thing to remain silent rather than speak one's mind, to speak up and speak out. If you are anything like me then you will no doubt have experienced that moment of thinking of the perfect retort that you should have made 30 minutes ago to that person who was being rude or thoughtless (why is it always 30 minutes after the event?!). There are definitely times when it is far better for the world that we keep our mouths closed and say nothing. Equally, it can be distinctly unhealthy to never speak up and out, to never allow our own voices and opinions to be heard. Where's the line? How does one know when is a good moment to break the 'golden' silence? Let's chat about it...
We're going to be talking today about the importance of DREAMS. I am not (necessarily) talking about our slumbering adventures! I am referring to our hopes and desires, our goals and wishes. Have a think about what your most pressing DREAM is and consider why this is so important to you. What does it fulfill? What desire or thoughts are behind it? What do you imagine the dream when it is achieved will give you (in addition to the achievement of the dream's specifics themselves). Why do we dream of goals and wish for things? What is it that this behaviour indicates about human nature? Let's chat about why having a dream is one of the key aspects of living a happy life. Of getting happy, staying happy and spreading happy!
Finding lasting love with the “right” person is high on most people’s wishlist. Finding your ideal partner is just the first challenge knowing whether they are a “keeper” or one to leave before they do any damage is the second and if that wasn’t difficult enough the third and longest challenge is how to maintain a loving inter-dependent relationship over time and through the many significant challenges of daily living. How is it so many people get it so wrong? Why do so many relationships appear to be great at the start but deteriorate often quite quickly into something which is at best disappointing and at worst destructive and toxic?
Gina talks with bestselling author Rachel Davidson about her new book, The Truth of Her, Beyond Veils, Book 2
Perhaps it is just my perception, but this week seems to have been full of bad news (both global and personal). So, I have to admit this - I started this day feeling a little half-hearted. Which got me thinking about the state of being half-hearted. How many times do we begin our projects (or our days) with only half our hearts in it? What good does half a heart do for us? Why not put your whole heart into your work, your relationships? Why withhold that other half? What is that withholding about? What difference do you think being fully wholehearted about your work, your relationships, your dreams would make to them? Let's chat this through. Where are you being half-hearted? Why might that be? Where are you being fully wholehearted? Why is that? What does it feel like?
Today's Genuine Chat is about balance. This is a term that in modern parlance is often attached to the "work or life" decisions that we are told it is necessary for us to make. But this is a false dichotomy in my opinion. We need to stop thinking in terms of work being separate from life and rebalance our perspective on what it means to live a productive life. I think the key is to be as balanced as you can possibly be in every aspect of your life. Easy yeah? Hmmm, easier to say, harder to achieve in the moments when choices and decisions are being demanded of us!