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Do you feel as if you play second fiddle to their work? Is it left to you to make excuses to the children, to family and friends because they are late or too busy to attend? Do you send the evenings on your own – even when they are in the house? Is your partner too busy or too tired to pay you the attention you need and deserve? Is your life being affected because of the demands of your partner’s work? Do you feel your own sense of self and your confidence are being eroded because they pay more attention to their work? Are you feeling lonely and left out even though you are in a relationship?

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The loss of someone you love is always very difficult but out of bereavement comes a golden opportunity to examine your priorities and to re-evaluate the way things are done.

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I do hope that 2019 has got off to a flying start! Are you one of those who decided not to make any New Years Resolutions so you didn’t have the pressure of failing to keep them? Did you decide over Christmas that 2019 was going to be the year when you created a great work – life balance? What have you done to change things? Is it working?

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I am always struck how often we hear about the same theme in several different contexts. I have been amazed at how often the theme of time has come up this week. Several clients have chosen to focus their session on their lack of time and the negative impact this has on their lives this month – no surprise there you might say. Ask most people about their lives and they will tell you that they never have enough time.

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Most of us use the New Year as a time to take stock of our lives. The break over Christmas gives us a bit of breathing space between the turkey, mince pies and the round of jollity. Many of us make promises that we convince ourselves we’ll try to keep this time. Those more cynical simply recognize that we will fail, so make the resolution not to make a resolution.

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There are many different theories about what motivates us. In NLP terms (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) the universal drivers are pain and pleasure. Some people will be motivated by pleasure – they will be drawn towards those things which give them a sense of pleasure and satisfaction. Others will be driven by avoiding pain.

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When you think about who you really are- do you love yourself? Do you like the person you are or do you feel that you are in some way wanting?

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Before we start to consider why it is important to focus on your perceptions lets clarify what I mean by perception. Through out our waking hours we take in millions of pieces of information. We take in information through all our senses. What we see, hear, feel, smell and taste.

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You cannot change the past.  What you can do is make sure it doesn’t spoil your present and your future.

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Pure love is very simple. You love the person for who they are – right now, whatever they are doing or not doing. In its simplest terms, you love them and give your love unconditionally. Many of us believe that is what we do, yet, the reality is, we love them, but we want something in return, this is called horse trading. A classic example of this is how we give our attention to others.

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