Being Single & Being Happy

single erson lonely person seeing loving couples wanting love.jpg

This week in the UK the BBC is running a week-long 'Faith in the World Week' programme looking into the reality of “Being Single”. Launched last Sunday, this is a week of celebrating what it means to be single with programmes and features across a number of BBC platforms, mostly on their Radio 2 station.

I am single and have been for a long time – so this feature caught my attention. It is not often that the media at large looks at this aspect of society. If you, like me, are single then you are part of an increasing demographic. More people are living as singles in the UK – it’s about 40% of the population and is increasing in every age group (according to the Office of National Statistics and YouGov).

There’s some great content about this topic on the BBC, and I feel it bleeds into the related themes of loneliness and depression in our society, which are also on the increase. These are important topics that we should be discussing with greater emphasis on understanding the wider environment that is causing our emotional well-being to suffer in these ways.

But, aside from that, I have always found that being single has suited me and I derive great comfort and happiness from the choices I have made that have led me to fit into this umbrella category.

It is not for everyone though – many of my clients express great sadness and confusion at the fact that they remain single. Wishing to share one’s life with a soul-partner can be a deep need and compelling pull for most of us.

This is the advice that I always give to client’s who feel this way:

“Be More Loving!”

The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. You are the common denominator throughout your life, every other relationship is coloured by the way you think about and treat yourself.

Many of my clients who wonder why they can't find true love have been treated badly by a succession of partners and are very unhappy. Others are looking for someone else to sort their lives, to organize and take care of them. They are disappointed when the partners they choose fail to make the difference.

Time and time again I find that those same clients have a terrible relationship with themselves. They feel worthless. When asked to identify what they don't like about themselves the list is endless. When asked what they do like they struggle to find much.

Ask yourself; do you treat your best friend in the same way as you treat yourself. Are your expectations the same for you as they are for them? If they mess up do you go on and on at them? When you mess up does the voice in your head go on endlessly telling you off?  How would your life be different if you started to treat yourself as a well-loved and valued friend?

Learn to appreciate what an amazing, creative, talented, unique person you are. There is only one of you and you have the capacity to be powerful and loving. When you believe in yourself life becomes full of possibilities.

So, are you single and happy about it, or single and deeply unhappy about it? I would love to know how you feel about this aspect of your life. Drop me a line HERE to book a quick 5 min call with me, I’d love to chat with you.

Or, if you’re not ready to chat just yet, why not take part in my FREE 7-day happiness challenge. It is full of simple, pragmatic daily habits that will help you to improve how you feel about yourself, and that’s bound to feel better. Just head over to  

Comments are closed