Dreading Christmas? Part 5


Planning A Successful Christmas: BE HEARD

This Christmas, make it all about you. Yes, you did hear me right! If you want to have a great time, Christmas or otherwise, it is important to remember that the only person you have control of is you, and that if you want a different result you have to change the way you do things.

Many people expect others to be a mind reader. Rather than using their voice, they send telepathic messages and expect the other person to know that they need some help, or that they are unhappy and need someone to notice. When the other person carries on blithely unaware that there is a problem, the person who is unhappy creates a story around their lack of support.

Mind reading leads to a belief that the other person doesn’t care. The reality is that others are simply busy doing their own stuff, and haven’t picked up the meaningful silences or glances.

Mind reading is a severely overrated form of communication. If you want someone to do something or behave in a particular way towards you then you need to say so and do it in a way which brings no baggage into the conversation.

Nagging is just as unsuccessful as mind reading. Even when people do use their voice, they often use THAT voice. The only purpose nagging serves is to start the conversation on a negative note. The best approach is to ask in a voice with no whine, reproach or edge to it, one that states the situation simply.

Nagging makes people switch off. This is true of children, teenagers, partners and work colleagues. In the end no-one listens to what is being said, because they hear the tone of voice and switch off. It is easier to latch on to the emotion of the voice, than the words being said – ultimately making it easier for people to wriggle out of the issue you want them to take on board!

Instead Try This:

Instead of using mind reading or nagging to communicate its time to do things differently, it is time to change the way you communicate. Use your voice to be heard, but use a voice that people will want to hear!

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